Evidence

Have you ever looked up at Mars and thought to yourself, “Wow, that sure looks flat to me”? No? Just us? Well, we here at the Flat Mars Society are convinced that Mars is not the round, rocky planet that mainstream science would have you believe. In fact, we have come up with a whole list of reasons why Mars is flat.

Reason number one: The flatness of Mars can be seen with the naked eye when looking up at the planet from the surface. I mean, come on, have you ever seen anything round when you looked straight up into the sky? The moon, the sun, the stars… all flat as a pancake. It just makes sense that Mars would be the same.

Now, we know what you’re thinking. “But wait a minute, haven’t there been multiple spacecraft that have flown around Mars and taken photos of a rounded planet?” To which we say, pfft, have you ever tried to take a photo of a basketball with your phone? It always comes out oval-shaped, right? Same thing with Mars. It’s just an optical illusion caused by the way we’re looking at it.

But the Flat Mars Society doesn’t just rely on our own observations and questionable analogies to support our beliefs. No, we have a whole team of dedicated researchers and scientists (well, one researcher and a couple of enthusiastic amateurs, but still) working tirelessly to uncover the truth about the flatness of Mars. And let me tell you, the evidence is mounting.

We have collected countless pieces of “anecdotal” evidence from people who claim to have seen the flatness of Mars with their own eyes. We have analyzed satellite images and found strange, linear patterns that could only be explained by a flat surface. And we have even conducted our own experiments, like trying to balance a ball on a table (which always ends in disaster, but that’s beside the point).

So there you have it, folks. The first of many reasons why Mars is flat. Stay tuned for more exciting Flat Mars Society updates and join us in our quest to bring the truth about the red planet to the world!